Of Baby Bisons and Second Chances

BS"D

Of Baby Bisons and Second Chances

By Nechama Dina Smith

So typical me… I write about the lessons I learn from the holiday after the holiday is over!

We recently celebrated Pesach Sheni, the day of second chances. In Biblical times, those who were unable to bring the Paschal sacrifice on time had another chance a month later to do so. `We eat some matza on this day a month after Pesach to commemorate this concept.

My daughter Sara was born on a gorgeous Pesach Sheni morning. I remember thinking, this is my chance. Let this be my second chance at being a good mother. We mothers are always second-guessing ourselves, always ready to lay on self-guilt for not being perfect. As I was thanking Hashem for my healthy beautiful girl, I promised Him I’d work harder to get this right. Really, how much do our children ask of us? To be present, loving, and patient… I hoped my good intentions would last.

Recently I watched a National Geographic clip about a baby bison. A seven-day-old bison was trying with all his might to keep up with his mother and the bison herd, crossing the frigid river upstream. He didn’t make it but got swept up on an island of pebbles. He survived. His mother kept marching with the herd and the baby was left on his own. Overnight he stayed there, in the cold, hungry and all alone. Abandoned!

In the morning he was still alive, but… a wolf discovered him. Incredibly, the little bison held his own against the vicious wolf. Watching it makes you cheer on this courageous baby bison who doesn't let himself get killed. But it's clear that should this continue, the baby wouldn’t be able to keep up the defense, and the wolf would devour him.

Just at that moment the impossible happened and the mother buffalo came back! After traveling miles the other way, she remembered her little one and came back to get him.

The reunion is tear jerking. The wolf sloughed off, outnumbered and overpowered, and the mother licked and cuddled her terrified child, who then nursed his mom and filled up his empty stomach. Just to note, the baby did not rush to greet the mother. He clearly was a bit hurt emotionally and the mom had to be, and was, extremely caring and loving to win him back.

I’m not sure why I was so enamored with this video. The baby bison was my new hero, and the mother...sigh. The mother was me.

The mother had a choice, when the going got tough in the water. She could stick to her offspring no matter what, or she could go on with the herd, further herself, expand her career, her opportunities. And the larger ambitions won out. She didn’t wait for her son.

But...it’s empty. That kind of winning and self-fulfillment is not substantial. What’s the point of it all if she left behind part of her being, her essence, part of her very self, her heart and soul, her child?

So she tore herself away from the herd (she was probably engorged and needed to feed her baby as well!) and ran with all her might towards her child. And true enough, she found him, and thus redeemed herself. Her son was no ordinary child. A seven-day-old to fight off a hungry wolf? Despite being cold and hungry and abandoned? He is a precious, wonderful creature that his mother nearly lost.

But thank Hashem for second chances. She tried her best and she arrived just in time.

I don’t think I need to explain the exact parable. Careers, hobbies, social life, even Torah classes all could be exceptional, amazing, even spiritual. But taking care of our children comes first. And even though doing so doesn't get accolades from the world, it does get accolades from where it matters most. He who saves a life is like he saves the whole world, even and especially if it's his/her own child.

P.S. This article has nothing to do with whether a mother should go to work or not. It has everything to do with how emotionally present and loving we should be with our children. It takes effort but that’s what really counts.