Sharing Some Inner Thoughts
By Nechama Dina Smith
It’s so exciting to be writing again in my own herbal blog!
When I was a young girl, my oldest brother and I were once walking together, rushing to get somewhere. I remember seeing a green light from afar and trying to jog faster. (In L.A. we walk across when the light is green and stop when it’s red.)
“When we’re that far away,” my brother pointed out, “we’re going to miss the
green light. The time to rush is when we see a red light, and if we hurry we’ll make it on time for it to turn green. It’s when life has a stop sign that we learn how to go forward,” he told me.
In general, this brother excels at teaching concepts even in everyday encounters.
I was pretty young, so I may have gotten it wrong, plus we were breathless and late to get to our destination, but I took this as a forever lesson for me.
Nothing is really a stop sign. I mean maybe it’s a sign, but not that we should stop and do nothing. Not at all.
When life makes you stop, that is a sign from Hashem to accomplish a lot.
When every day is so fast-paced, we don’t actually see where we’re going, where we’re headed, and we can’t tell if we are on track or veering off. There’s no time to analyze!
But when something happens, whether good or (apparently) bad, it’s time for a makeover. And those introspective questions we ask ourselves can invigorate our actions; only this time, in the right direction.
Oftentimes, during the school year we are all very busy. At dizzying speed, mothers do more than seemingly possible. If I look at my to-do list, even if only half of it is crossed off, I'm impressed with myself.
But there’s that aspect of running around in circles. True, I did carpools twice a day to two schools, made breakfast, lunch, and supper, babysat a group of adorable babies, fed them breakfast, lunch, and snacks, put them to sleep, took them outside and played with them, did four loads of laundry, tried (mostly in vain) to clean my house, took my own children to the park, read to them, put them to bed, and did 20 other things before the next morning.
But… here's the question: did I notice that one of my children didn’t hand in her project that was due? If there's no quiet moment, and since she definitely will not want to volunteer that information, how will I find out how she is doing in school?
And… at the park, which I was so proud of myself for getting to, did I smile and laugh and look at my children to try to understand them and their needs? Or was I busy checking my messages?
Did I properly daven, or did I mumble a few words so I could cross it off my list? As I remember my sixth-grade teacher telling us, “It’s better not to daven than to daven like that.”
Am I really accomplishing much?
It takes summertime, when school is done, camp is about to begin, and when I'm not officially babysitting, that there’s a grand stop sign. A gorgeous stop sign. Right now there's no carpool, no homework, no babysitting.
I can sit down and focus on what each of my children need.
I can read an entire book, not flip back and forth like I do when I try to sneak in some reading but there is practically no time.
And… I can remember my neglected herbs.
When someone called me with the flu or a cold, I got into emergency mode and whipped up a batch of elderberry syrup (actually it takes a little while, it’s not exactly whipping. But you know what I mean, I make myself have the time). But for months I didn’t glance at my shelves to see what was needed. Oh, I did fill any order that came in, but I didn’t put aside time to take inventory and see if the lesser-ordered items were in stock. To think about what might be needed and to take initiative.
So when a newly expecting mother recently asked for morning-wellness tea and varicose vein liniment, I was fortunate enough to have a bag of tea left. But I didn't have even one bottle of liniment for her aching legs. She kindly waited three weeks for it to be ready. (The herbs macerate in the witch hazel or apple cider vinegar which extracts all the beneficial goodies from the herbs.)
So now that summer is here, I get to replenish all my products, I get to have fun writing in my blog and pondering on life. I get to check which email I never responded to. I get to play with my children, or at least listen to them. And also… I get to try new recipes! In food and in herbs. During the year it’s pretty much the same weekly menu--not so much because we’re boring, but more because we’re trying to stay sane and feed the kids things they’ll eat. Now that we have the time, we get to expand our palates, and even get the kids cooking (and there’s time to clean up after them, which I really didn’t have before so I tried to avoid it when they asked me if they could cook). And by the way, getting them to cook is a good way for them to try new foods. They see how much effort goes into it, and they usually eat it. Also herbal teas, when pressed for time, I stuck to what I was used to, but when there is more time, it’s fun to explore new formulas and combinations.
There were other times stop signs had so much meaning. When a child is ill, every single thing stops. And every single thing gets re-evaluated.
A disappointing call from a teacher also sobers the parents and child, at which point a plan of action is instituted.
Stop signs are good. They are lessons from Hashem. Let’s embrace them and show Him we learned our lessons, and we are doing the best we can, and more than we can! And now, Hashem, please shower us with abundant and clearly revealed goodness.
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