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Writer's pictureNechama Smith

Yay! Boundaries on Purim

BS”D




Hello, everybody!


The happiest and busiest day of the year is about to arrive. AKA Purim!


I thought we’d bounce ideas off each other for how we can stay afloat this year with the myriads of enticing junk food that will be thrown our way the week of Purim and the weeks following Purim, but especially Purim day.


I asked my children to help me put together a list of ideas of how to keep at least semi-healthy.


So, first of all, they told me that it’s okay to eat nash and be happy once in a while. Granted. Yes, they definitely will eat extra nash. The key is to hold tight and know that they’ll be okay. Kids can handle it more than us adults, truthfully. Somehow they don’t feel as sick after devouring the worst-for-your-health edibles. I’ve had to rush to the dentist after a full Purim morning of eating heavenly praline-filled chocolate. I’ve been unable to withstand delicious temptations all day long and laid sick in bed the whole next day. So these thoughts are for kids and adults as well.


Ok, so secondly, we try to give a filling, wholesome, big breakfast in the morning. (Forget lunch, it’s a lost cause by then.)


Thirdly, there are better alternative candies sold nowadays (sugar instead of corn syrup, and no food coloring)--so we can use those to trade with the more offensive ones.


Fourth, our own mishloach manos that we prepare for others--we try to stick to our standards, as inevitably there will be leftovers that we all eat. Plus, we need to practise what we preach! Do you know how much we appreciate when we receive a gift plate from my sister-in-law with cut-up veggies and dips? Some of us fight over it, as we are so desperate for nourishment in the sea of sugar and flour and margarine. So I tell the children we are also doing a chessed, a kindness, for others by giving food that makes them feel good.


Fifth, my kids told me we need to make a contest. I’m excited about this one. Can we see how long each child can last without caving in to the nash? Will it be 8 am, 10 am, or 1 pm? Or even later? (Or will they not even make it the first night…uh, kind of my fault cuz I hand out lollipops, albeit organic ones, by megilla reading so it's nice and quiet.)


My kids would love cash prizes for their contest. I’d also like to make it clear beforehand that certain nash is off limits. In our family that’s soda and laffy taffies. Other hard candies and food coloring we would like to be off limits, but we work those into negotiations. (Unfortunately for me, my children are excellent negotiators. They have lawyers in their genes!) If they're in a general family mishloach manos, I reserve the right to make it disappear. If it's in their own gift baskets from their friends we either exchange with the “cleaner” candy or turn a blind eye.


Six. Some years the children give me their nash for money. The older they are the more self control they have. Age six and under, there is basically zero waiting.


Seven, there are families that let the children munch to their hearts’ content the entire Purim. After Purim, they make all the rest disappear.


Eight, other families keep treats in separate bags, and they can pick one or two a day to bring to school. When we try this, it ends up lasting a week instead of a month. You need very on-top-of-it-parents to be on top of it.


Nine: What about rules for adults? Oy, I wish I had the strength to say No, like I’m asking of my kids. But it is a lifelong skill to acquire: the ability to just say NO! And the incredible thing about adult rules is that the parents’ actions directly influence their children. Besides for them seeing your role modeling, you have more confidence asking them to follow the rules, because you are, too. So some nice rules to follow are: stick to three meals a day. If you see something particularly delicious you want, set it aside for your next meal. This will delay it but not make you desperate because you know you will have it later. Don’t eat anything in between. Try to put temptations far away, like double knotted in some back shelf in the fridge or something. And remember that your children will know, so think of yourself as a hero and cheer yourself on for maintaining your discipline, each time you say No thank you.


Ten. There is one thing I keep on hand: my herbal digestive bitters. That helps usually within a few minutes of eating the wrong thing that makes me feel sick. I squirt some of the tincture in an ounce of water and drink. Peppermint tea would also help, or grapefruit. But easiest on this hectic day is the bitters. They aid digestion and stimulate the liver to break up the problem foods. This will help the children too.


Have a joyful, delightful and kosher Purim. May we see salvation in all aspects around the globe for our brothers and sisters.

With love

Nechama Dina


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